Whether you’re expecting a baby soon or simply talking about having children in your marriage, it can lead to a very tense relationship. The reason for this is because each person has different views on child care issues and raising children. Often these discussions can lead to heated debates and can worsen a marriage. For instance, one partner may assume that the other side feels exactly the same regarding a child care topic when they may not. In addition, there are pressing matters like who should care for the child and how much each parent will work. Taking care of these issues and other things can make parenthood less bumpy for the both of you. Here are some tips to get you started on this.
Soak up Information
There are lots of good resources for parenting from experts or experienced parents. You may have to purchase some, but there are also tons of free resources available if you search. Of course, resources don’t have to be limited to books only. There are videos, websites, and other online content for you to browse. Keep in mind that when the baby comes, you’ll be too busy to read, listen, and watch at that time so you should do so beforehand.
While you’re still thinking about having kids of your own, try to spend time with couples who already have kids. Watch them, get to know their routine and also observe the kids. Try to spend as much time as you can with them to learn more about their experiences with their kids. If possible, you can even sign them up as your mentor couple to guide you through the upcoming trying times. Their experience will provide valuable insight and suggestions for your parenting skills.
Talk it Over
Ideally, this should also occur in the planning phase, not in the expecting phase. When you’re still contemplating to have a baby or not, talk with your partner about your hopes, fears, and expectations about being a parent. This might involve opening up your pasts or childhood secrets, but opening up to your partner is important so that they will know what you will do in what situation. If you have differences, don’t fret or get upset – it’s fairly normal. What you can do instead is to talk about those issues and come to a shared understanding of common ground you can agree on.
Beef up Finances
Babies come with big expenses. If you’re not prepared, your money could run out very fast and your baby could end up hungry or worse. You can’t tell the baby to wait for a few days or what, since they need nutrition, not to mention their diapers, clothes, equipment, medical, and their upcoming education costs. This should be a major concern for you and should involve a huge part of your planning phase. There are lots of educational plans you can take advantage of now which involves paying a few amount every month, but leads to a full-paid college education for your child when he/she needs it.
Stop the Vices
Once you’re planning to get the baby, avoid smoking, drinking or drugs. It should be common sense, but people don’t seem to understand the importance of this preparation. For smoking, you (the mom) should eliminate smoking completely from your life 6 months before trying to get pregnant. This will give you ample time to deal with withdrawal symptoms before dealing with pregnancy hormones. In the case of alcohol, some doctors say that a small amount is okay during the entire course of pregnancy, while others rule it out completely. To be on the safe side, avoiding alcohol completely during pregnancy seems like the best option out there.
Proper Diet and Exercise
When you get pregnant, it can be a very scary thing since there is someone living inside you for that duration. Some women try to follow diets or exercises that are geared towards making their body shape look good. However, it doesn’t take into account the fact that you are eating for 2 now. Proper maternal diet and exercise is very important for a healthy mom and baby. Eating right will make sure that your baby will grow healthy, while exercise can protect you from any complications during delivery. Also keep in mind that delivery will be very stressful, especially during labor and after delivery. During this time, having a well-conditioned body will definitely work out in your favor.
Even before you get pregnant, you can have a consultation with your gynecologist to have you and your partner evaluated. What the doctor will check is if you are capable of having a baby and if it’s easy for you to get pregnant. If there are any possible complications in your pregnancy, knowing about it before you get pregnant is very important as compared to knowing about it when the baby is already on the way. If you and your partner are unprepared about this, then it could lead to fatal complications or a very expensive pregnancy.
Keep it Small
When people think about having a baby on the way, they immediately think about a bigger home. This is definitely not a very good move. For one thing, kids are small to begin with. They don’t need a bigger room until they are almost in their teen years. In addition, finding a new place when you are expecting can lead to unwanted additional stress during an already stressful time. If you’re really eager to get out of your apartment and into your own home, it might be better to wait until the baby comes out before reassessing your living conditions.
Modify Your Will
It might sound morbid, but this is also one of the most overlooked tasks for expectant parents. Aside from telling what properties the child will inherit, and health care proxy, the will also lists who the child’s guardian will be in case of your untimely demise. Just imagine, if you had an accident and had to leave the child alone and defenceless, they could end up living in an unknown relative’s house while the rest of your possessions is auctioned off by the other greedy relatives. It’s a scenario you definitely wouldn’t want your child to experience. Preparing the will before the baby arrives also eases legal complications. Since the baby is here, it can take a long time or be more expensive to prepare a will. At that time, parents have their hands tied or choose to have the will modified later instead. During that point, the assets would have already lost their value or bank accounts would have dwindled down.
There are a lot of factors you need to consider when talking about preparing for parenthood. Aside from the emotional, spiritual, or physical needs, you also need to pay attention to the financial aspect. Raising a child will be very stressful in your relationship as well as for your bank account so having a good buffer for those situations will definitely work out in your favor in the long run.